Selfish Prayer

I noticed a disturbing trend as I was praying this morning. As I journaled/prayed this morning, I noticed that lately my focus has been more on what I want from God rather than on God. I was focusing on the gift rather than the giver. Noticing that, begged the question why? Why was I practicing something totally antithetical to what I teach to others? Why was I sekeing God’s blessing and not God’s presence. As I processed that with God, He showed me the root issue. I haven’t been trusting Him enough. I haven’t been trusting that God really wants what’s best for me and has the best plan from me.

I had effectively decided that I can make my best future if God will just provide key things for me to avoid major roadblocks. I was behaving as if I didn’t need God in my life. I needed His wisdom. I needed Him to provide opportunities for me to do what I wanted. But… I didn’t need Him.

How ridiculous! That whole experience was a great wake up call for me. I don’t have a clue what the best possible future is for me. What I need is God. What I need is to live in His presence and to follow Him moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day. I was getting way too far ahead of myself. That was a great start to a great day. I hope and pray that I can maintain this focus.